Different...
...but not less.
Let me tell you a story.
Once upon a time, there was a girl. Bright personality, going to music school, her fingers dancing on the piano keys - everything looked perfect. Nothing could stand in her way…or could it?
It started off harmless enough - a scrunch of the nose, a stretch of the mouth. She tried all sorts of home and homeopathic treatments, trying to shoo away these so-called ‘tics’. And it worked! For a few good years, she was free.
But then they came back with a vengeance.
In middle school, of all places. The place where all the kids think they’re suddenly all ‘grown up’ and ‘mature’, therefore the perfect place relentlessly bully any outliers. So when she started letting out high-pitched sounds in the middle of class, she became their target. Not a single friend came her way, so she resorted to many breaks spent at her desk with a book, trying to ignore the mean stares and kicks in the back of her chair.
Instead of getting better, things got worse. The tics were now always present, not even letting her sleep sometimes. And yet no one thought it could be something else, because, drum-roll please… she didn’t swear. Coprolalia, the thing that only takes up only 10-15% of Tourette’s cases.
Thankfully, there was a therapist that still suggested it. And one trip to Italy later, she was diagnosed. Tourettic OCD. Medication prescribed, and bam, all would be good!
And it was!…for a while. It was so good sometimes, that she could even stop taking said medication for some periods of time. But the dark cloud of tics was just beginning.
It was coming up to the biggest exam of her life - the Romanian Baccalaureate. Without it, she wouldn’t graduate high school. So, to make things more interesting, the tics got worse. So much worse. She started having tic attacks, moments of time where all she could do was yell, hit things (or herself), move around wildly. And hey, remember the swearing? That showed up as well! Surely it couldn’t be worse than this..
But then, as the dark cloud of ‘depression’ made its way over, she realized that there were things worse than tics. Because the thing that’s most important, is that tics didn’t change the way she thought. Depression did.
But she healed. And now, tics are simply a part of her. She has her moments where she feels awkward on the bus when people look at her weird, but mostly, others think that the high pitched sounds she lets out are a notification on their phone.
This was the story of Petra. Me. (insert ooooohs and aaaaahs at this very not obvious revelation). And the reason I wanted to put it out there is for two reasons - one, to urge people to not judge so harshly. It doesn’t take that much to be a decent human being - and that includes not assuming you know everything a person is going through just by looking at them.
And two, to lead into the book I last read:
Reading corner
Book Three: Out of My Mind by Sharon M. Draper
When I say this book made me cry - oh boy do I mean it. While the situation between the main character of this book, Melody Brooks, and me, is in no way similar - I felt this book in my soul.
The long and the short of it - Melody has cerebral palsy, which means that she she cannot speak, move, nor communicate her wishes.
‘Thoughts need words. Words need a voice.” - Melody Brooks
SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT!
It’s the (unfortunately) classic ‘oh, they have a disability, therefore they can’t possibly be smart or think for themselves.’ That is obviously not the case for Melody, and everyone gets to know that when she finally gets a communication device that allows her to speak with other people. She even makes the school’s trivia team with a perfect score! But that doesn’t stop the discrimination, of course, because when they are to go to Washington to participate in the finals, no one calls her to tell her that the flight had been cancelled, and everyone else goes on without her on an earlier flight. In the end, the team gets ninth place without her, and she is offered the trophy as an apology:
I look at the ugly little statue, ad I start to giggle. Then I crack up. Finally, I roll with laughter. My hand jerks out and hits the trophy - I’m not sure if it was an accident or not - and it falls to the floor, breaking into several pieces. […]
“I don’t want it!” I finally type. Then, turning the volume as loud as it’ll go, I add, “You deserve it!”
The book ends with Melody starting to write an autobiography, which ends up being the first paragraphs of the book.
This book was pretty short, and not too difficult a read (technically, definitely not emotionally), and I honestly couldn’t recommend it enough. Melody is very lovable, and the book is not lacking in humor as well. I’ve seen some reviews of pointing out many ‘flaws’ and such, but honestly I don’t think they’re that big a deal. This isn’t a technical book, it’s not supposed to teach and inform you everything there is to know about cerebral palsy. It is made to tug at your heartstrings, and make you rethink the way you look at people.
This book gets a 5/5 star rating from me, without a doubt.
Next up: Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
Be kind to people. Till next time!



I found so much value in reading about your life experience today, Petra! Thanks for allowing me to expand my awareness 🤍